my2cents

Letter to Devika

2010-09-22T15:09:00.002-04:00

Devika,

Haven't been in a writing mood these days, but wanted to share one more thing with you...for what it's worth!

Two weeks ago I lost Cocktail (our Cockatiel) who the kids and I had for the past 7-8 years. It was more painful than losing Prince, since it was sudden and unexpected… and in some ways my fault, since I inadvertently left his cage open after a cleaning. With Prince, it was inevitable that he was going, so I was well prepared.

Cocktail and I had a wonderful relationship! Whenever I would open his cage door he would eventually fly onto my shoulder (or top of my head) and stay there for as long as I'd let him. We would talk to one another in the way that you do when you've had a pet for a long time and you really get to know one another.

Well, when Cocktail's life came to its sudden and traumatic end I was initially torn up inside. The only thing I could do was to gather up all his feathers and find a nice spot in the garden to bury him. I massaged khus oil onto his feet, which allowed me to gently remove his silver band. In doing so, I sensed that he was finally being set free. So- with candle, incense, flowers and bell I sat on the ground next to his burial place in the garden singing the Guru Gita.

As I did so I began to contemplate what was really going on- where exactly was Cocktail and what was the effect of these
rituals I was in the midst of performing? I reasoned that his lifeless body was in the ground, but where was the Cocktail that I'd come to know and love? As I continued with my Guru Gita, it dawned on me where Cocktail was! He existed in my mind and no other place! This came to me with a conviction that was profound, and which dispelled my grief. What then I asked myself, was the result of my chanting and candle lighting and incense waving and bell ringing, etc.? Was I doing it for Cocktail's soul or was I doing it for my own peace of mind?

As a result, I began to see that my world exists only in my mind... as a vast field consisting of a thousand thought forms, complicated by the various emotions I ascribe to each! As if to test this 'theory' I began to look at the various people in my life that are dearest to me. Could I apply the same standard to them? If I were to suddenly find that I had lost any one of them could I maintain the same understanding and awareness I'm now experiencing with Cocktail? Although I will never know for sure unless and until I'm actually confronted with that situation, never the less I could feel the Truth of it in this awareness. I can almost see Baba’s smiling face as he refers me to the Yoga Vasishta and nods his head in approval!

The next morning as I was watering the garden, a beautiful small bird flew down to bath in the stream of water that feeds our pond a short distance from where I stood. I had the feeling that this bird had come to entertain me! I'd never seen this kind of bird before, and although his coloration was a non-descript brown, he had a beautiful yellow stripe on his tail that reminded me at once of Cocktail! My first thought was that Cocktail was coming to visit me- to perform this little water dance- and then a beautiful red-headed woodpecker came out of nowhere to land on the trunk of a nearby tree. As I gazed around I saw that it was Nature itself that was performing for me. In that moment I realized that when you honor Nature; Nature in turn honors you!

So my dear Devika, thank you once again for your kind and sweet words! I thought of writing this story when it happened but like I said, I've not been in a writing mood of late. You seem to have brought this one out- so thanks! I did want to share it.

Much love to you, and if I get to Hawaii one of these days I'll make sure we can see each other. Bye for now...

yogi

It was a pleasure knowing you!

2010-03-24T12:02:00.002-04:00

My Dear Prince,

You were a great friend and companion! You understood so very well how to live your life, and how to extract the good from everyone you encountered. Your love was so free and so readily available. Nadia, Laurence and I all loved you very much...you were family!

Once you arrived it didn't take us long to get to know one another. You were well past your second birthday...big, strong and highly intelligent. Early on you tested me with what would have appeared to an outsider as a viscious attack. You didn't sink your teeth into my flesh, but the force of your paws upon my body left me scarred for months. We reached a mutual understanding that day, which lasted throughout your life.

Your awareness and sensitivity were well-honed. You responded to the subtlest gestures....a soft spoken word; a nod of the head. As with all of us, your body eventually failed you, but your spirit held firm. As with all lives lived well, your death came nice and easy. With Baba singing the Guru Gita and with Maha Vakyas whispered in your ear, your eyes closed and your breath left your body with a mantric snore. Where exactly you went will remain a mystery for now.

A number of people were saddend by your departure. I don't quite understand how they view things. When you came, I never considered myself to be your owner, nor did I look upon you as a possession. Your life belonged to you and you alone. Like the rest of us, you are traveling along your own unique life jouney. As your caretaker I tried to give you as much comfort as possible, and be of assistance in whatever way I could. Our love was profound. I do not consider you gone, but rather continuing on your way in some other form.

As Lord Krshna tells Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, "Just as one casts off worn-out clothes and puts on garments that are new, so does the embodied Self cast off worn-out bodies and assumes others that are new." And again, "Death is inherent for those that are born, and birth is inherent in those who die... over the inevitable, you should not grieve." I will only add that it's very sweet to experience non-attachment when life presents it's inevitable challenges.

So sweet Prince, I thank you for the gift of allowing me to serve as your caretaker. In this role there is no grief and no weeping. Only joy and happiness. You came, you stayed awhile and you went. Other than that, nothing much happened! My happiness lies in the 'nothing much happened' part! It's difficult for others to understand what really goes on in any particular relationship, due to their over active imaginations. So long for now. Perhaps we'll meet again some day, who knows? One thing I do know: it was a pleasure knowing you.

And by the way, a special thank you to Lester, Kathy and their family for caring for Prince during his puppy days, and then delivering him to us at SMA (so he did get the blessings of being there!). You guys did all the dirty work. We just enjoyed the fruits of your labor. And to Ray McSoley for letting us know that Prince was looking for a new home. Thanks!!!

And so, the story goes...

2009-12-31T10:46:00.005-05:00

First off, let me give thanks to my dear friend Janardan Debelvue, who called the other day out of the blue. I don't even remember the last time we spoke, but it must have been at least 10-15 years ago. I can usually count on something special coming my way after a call of this nature. It brought me great joy to speak with him, as his knowledge has obviously matured over these years. I'm happy to say that Janardan seems to have made the best of what he received. Unfortunately, there are many who have received as much as Janardan, yet have allowed wrong understanding to creep in and cloud their thinking. Anyway, as a result of our conversation, I have gained a little more clarity into a crucial issue. Crucial, because it's of vital importance to all of us. I imagine that Baba and Gurumayi are quite pleased with Janardan. What follows was inspired by our conversation:

The story goes that in ancient India there were two Sages of renown, each representing a different approach to the role of Guru. One was Vishwamitra and the other Vasishtha.

Vishwamitra spread his teachings far and wide and as a result, amassed a tremendous following. He had thousands of good, yet ordinary students in terms of their attainment. Many of these students in turn went out and gave lectures and programs that delivered even more students to Vishwamitra.

Vasishtha on the other hand, chose to cultivate relatively few students. He selected only those students who had the capacity to hold onto and develop the Teachings in ways that would benefit future generations. A good number of Vasishtha's students acquired great attainments, and some went on to become great teachers in their own right, thus preserving the Power and integrity of his lineage.

Whereas Vishwamitra had thousands of students- and fame that stretches this far into the future*, it was Vasishtha's method of Guruhood that allowed the sublime Shakti and Teachings to live on and directly impact future generations, including ours. (If you read the translation of the morning and evening Arati, you'll see that Vasishtha is credited as being a link in the lineage of our Gurus!)

Think about this: Are you happy with the way your spiritual development has progressed? I mean, really think about it! When you're all alone take a good look in the mirror and allow yourself to gaze into your mind and heart. Is the Inner Self pleased with you? If you're completely honest with yourself, you'll immediately receive an answer! If the answer is yes, then this is cause to rejoice! If not, then I invite you to consider the great Blessing you have received and contemplate how to keep it active in your life.

Now think about this: Vasishtha didn't have to select all the students himself. Some of those students selected him!

YOU DON'T NEED THE GURU TO SELECT YOU- IT'S YOU WHO NEEDS TO SELECT THE GURU!

Here's where you need to cultivate right understanding! It's not important whether or not the Guru chooses you to be their student. It's only important that you choose the Guru! Take the cases of Kabir and Eklavya. Both were prohibited from entering their respected Guru's Ashrams- Kabir because he was of a low caste and therefore not allowed to mingle with the community of Ramananda's students; and Eklavya, who was an Adivasi (Aboriginal) and thus prohibited from participating with the students of Drona Acharya. (in the past, there were strict protocols surrounding these issues.)

Due to their one-pointed effort to secure the Favor of their Gurus, both Kabir and Eklavya went on to become beloved disciples of Ramananda and Drona Acharya- despite the fact that both were considered outcastes, and kept from entering their Guru's Ashrams! It was their desire and subsequent effort that allowed them to receive the full measures of their Guru's Grace! They accomplished this by taking their Guru's Teachings to heart and applying them right there in their lives. They weren't hindered in the least by the fact that they couldn't see their Gurus or visit their Ashrams. Their one desire was to please their Gurus and obtain their Grace! How beautiful is that?

In Buddhist history, the two Sages credited with producing the greatest number of enlightened students are Hui-Neng and Milarepa. Hui-Neng was also considered an outcaste, yet went on to succeed his Guru, who was the Fifth Patriarch in the Chinese Zen school of Buddism. Milarepa, who everyone knows, spent the majority of his teaching years living in high mountain caves, inaccessable to the vast majority of students, yet many of his students went on to greatness, and secured the power of the Kagyu Lineage for future generations leading up to the present day.

So, bottom line for you who feel neglected and left out in the cold... have you chosen to be a 'good, yet ordinary student' like those of Vishwamitra; or a great student like those of Vasishtha, who will blaze a path into the future, sustaining and enriching the legacy of this glorious lineage? It's all in your attitude...nowhere else! It doesn't take much, just a slight shift in your desire and understanding.

If you're looking to make a New Year's Resolution, how about considering what's written above? Is there something more important? I hope not! Happy New Years!

*Vishwamitra's fame comes primarily from the power of his self-effort in performing his spiritual practices.

In the beginning…

2009-12-08T09:26:00.014-05:00

In the spring of 1967, something happened!

Though I’ve spoken about it from time to time, I’ve never committed it to writing. Actually, I’ve made the attempt on several occasions, but after reading what was written it never felt like I was doing justice to the experience- so I trashed them! Here goes one more try!

A Saturday evening in May. Not unlike any other, except on this particular evening I had an uneasy feeling about things. Jerry Kramer and I were living in a house we rented up in Beverly Glen Canyon. Jerry had flown up to San Francisco for the weekend, leaving me alone in the house. Normally, I would be out at a party or at one of the clubs around West Hollywood. In 1967 you could go out every weekend and see one or more musical acts, now considered legendary performers. Life was good!

However, on this particular evening if you were to have asked me whether or not life was good, I don’t know how I would have answered.

Confronted with an unfamiliar anxiety, I was staying home rather than going out. Several weeks earlier a new friend at school had given me a copy of Hermann Hesse's Demien, which I promptly threw into the back of my car with no intention of reading. That evening as I sat on my bed with this uneasy feeling, my attention suddenly went to the book. I went downstairs to the carport and after rummaging through a pile of 'stuff', found it in the back of my car.

When I resumed my position on the bed I opened the book. No sooner had I begun to read the words, and I was drawn into the story in a way unlike I had ever experienced before. I say drawn, but looking back, it was more like being sucked into it, as if by some powerful and mysterious force. I was completely consumed! My mind got so absorbed into the characters and their drama, that I found myself identifying with every thought and emotion. It was as if I had become them, and was somehow living their lives within the story. As I continued, anxieties and fears began to arise from some primordial depth within me. Hesse's telling of this story was effecting me in somewhat the same way as the sympathetic strings of a Sitar...the twanging of the upper strings, were causing a reverberation in the strings lying beneath. The intensity slowly built until it reached a point where it was so unbearable I couldn’t remain in that position any longer.

I got up from the bed and went into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. I must have wanted to reassure myself that I wasn’t losing it. What I saw in the mirror only intensified my fear. I was staring at my face as though it belonged to someone else. If not someone else’s face, then perhaps it was someone else looking at my face. I don’t think in that state, I could distinguish. It was not unlike coming on to acid. I could see in acute detail- every pore, line, and blood vessel on the surface of the skin. I was seeing everything with a heightened and penetrating awareness.

Keep in mind that I hadn't ingested anything. There were similar experiences the few times I'd taken psychedelics, where I would look at myself in the mirror and when this kind of thing would happen - when I’d start to come on like this - I'd assure myself that everything was okay. I'd tell myself that I’d just taken something, and this is what was expected. I was going to go through some new experiences, and after it had run its course, I would return to 'normal'. This time it was different. I hadn't taken anything- yet here I was, starting to peak! A great fear washed over me and I was overcome with the feeling that I was losing my mind. Getting no relief from the image in the mirror, I returned to my position on the bed and once again picked up the book for another go round.

Again, the resumption of my reading immediately threw me into a tumultuous whirlpool of emotions, as my mind raced on and on into the territory of the unknown. I was caught in a raging sea of debilitating thoughts and emotions, going faster and faster- spinning further and further out of control. Fear intensified, and my mind raced onward toward what must have seemed like destruction and oblivion.

Faster and faster my mind spun out of control! Further and further- deeper and deeper until it seemed I just couldn't take it any longer! And when my mind reached a crescendo and I was on the verge of screaming- everything just stopped.

I mean, EVERYTHING JUST STOPPED!

No thoughts, no activity, no mind, no me! Only pure Being...and ecstasy so exquisite and so intimate that to try and tie it down with a label almost seems sinful. I can't say for sure whether or not there was someone there to do the experiencing. In fact, I know there wasn’t in the normal sense. This is the state described by Patanjali as Nirvikalpa Samadhi, the state of total absorption without form. In this state the individual self does not exist.

I don't know how long this condition lasted, because it was a state beyond time. However, at some point I regained consciousness. That is, I became aware that I was having this experience. This is the state of Savikalpa Samadhi, the state of absorbtion in the Self in which one is enjoying the experience of Unity. Several years later when I met our Baba, he pointed out this awakening to me without my mentioning anything about it. It was this exchange that brought about an end to my seeking. I’ll save this portion of my story for another time.

So, on that May evening in 1967 everything changed for me. In a single moment of time lightening struck and I was never to be the same again. It was the same me, in the same body, in the same room in the same house. Everything was the same, yet everything was different.

And yet, everything was exactly as it should be. Everything was Perfect! Knowledge spontaneously flooded my mind. I say flooded, because it seemed to spontaneously flow from an endless spring within. And by Knowledge, I don’t mean facts. I'm describing the same experience as that revealed by all knowers of Truth. The mind in this state does not think, but rather acts as a conduit of Divine Recognition and Revelation. In this state one’s mind becomes absolutely still with perfect and profound clarity. Illumination is an appropriate term for this condition.

As I reveled in my good fortune, the impulse came upon me to share this experience with someone. I got into my car and drove up Sunset Boulevard toward Doheny Drive where my friend and former roommate Don Barenfeld had recently moved in with his girlfriend and future wife, Roberta. I remember driving along in a state of Divine intoxication, which was drawing the attention of people in cars along the way. I can still see images of the expressions on their faces as I drove by. Some wonderful and mysterious law of attraction was set loose, and all I could do was marvel at it.

When I got to Don’s apartment I rang the bell. The moment Don answered the door our eyes met and he immediately went into the same state I was experiencing. As if it was yesterday, I can vividly see his face radiating the same pure joy I was experiencing. We were both beaming as we went into the kitchen to sit at the small table flushed up against the wall.

As we explored this newly found treasure, Roberta and their friend Doug came into the kitchen from a back room. Both of them were immediately overcome with confusion and fear as they gazed upon what must have appeared to be two madmen engaged in some otherworldly lunacy that forbade them entry. Needing to further our exploration unhindered, and sensing that the small apartment held too many restrictions, we drove back to my place in Beverly Glen to spend the remainder of the night in communion and deep discussion. Within days, I left everything behind and made my way to the mountains of Central California. My life had now taken a new direction.

When I first decided to commit this experience to writing several years ago, I contacted Don to see if he could recall enough of his side of the story to write something down. In my phone conversation and follow up e-mail to him, I mentioned that in our Ashram everyday we used to sing a song in Sanskrit called “jyota se jyota jagao, satguru jyota se jyota jagao” which translates into, “Oh Satguru, please take the lamp of Knowledge that illumines your mind, and light my lamp which has remained in darkness for so long”.

The following is what Don so graciously added to the mix:

Ron,

It was really great making contact with you again. I've been thinking about it, and can't say too much more. Even with you prompting I doubt that I will recall what else transpired that night. However, I can tell you a smidgen that came back to me subsequent to that time.

I remained in an altered state for a couple of weeks. I explained the nature of the universe to anyone who would or would not listen. I remember standing in front of the Holloway cleaners on Santa Monica Boulevard with that look in my eye. I could see beyond who was in front of me, and into their real essence. However, the experience had me, I didn't have it, and so I was busy walking up to everyone I could corral and informing them that they were God! I don't think I was received so well, especially by my parents at the Friar's Club. I was at U.S.C. at the time and told a very esteemed, older psychology professor about what was happening with me. Wisely, she told me not to tell anyone else. She recognized that I would not be understood, and in fact, might be seen as slightly nuts (which I was a little). I don't know why we didn't go into it more, because like Richard Alpert who went to India to have someone explain the psychedelic experience, I was searching for the answer. I thought I might quit school and try to figure it out. I am glad that I didn't. Ok for some, not for me.

Anyway, I have dipped from time to time into that realm in various ways. I will communicate how some time when we talk, but for now, in terms of what followed directly from our time together, that's about it. I would say that that night did give me a certain, definite, knowing, and move me in a direction that continues today. When I do get back in touch from time to time, it is definitely that place of ‘no-thingness’ and timelessness. As I am fond of saying.... "Jyota se jyota jagao..." (just kidding)
I look forward to seeing you again.

Don

A birthday wish...

2009-12-08T02:16:00.000-05:00

As usual I awoke this morning before dawn, tip-toed down the stairs to feed the dogs so as not to awaken those still enjoying their slumber. When I arrived in the kitchen I tried not to pay too much attention to the presents heaped upon the kitchen table, nor the flowers, balloons and other items that signaled some sort of celebration was at hand. My familiar morning routine continued as I crept up the stairs to quickly shower before settling down to meditate prior to beginning my recitation of the Guru Gita. The only apparent difference this morning was the softness of my steps, as I cautioned against a premature birthday celebration that might postpone or deny me the morning ritual I have grown to love so dearly. To arise early and invoke that Sweetness in the manner we've been taught so well, cannot be matched by even the most loving and well-intended gestures of others! Thank you Baba and Gurumayi for this extraordinary gift!

This morning's Guru Gita marks the beginning of my 40th year reciting this sacred text. My condition and the condition of the book I hold in my hands (1st edition - 1972) are quite similar. Both of our appearances have changed over the years. Mine in terms of wrinkles, grey hair and failing eyesight; my dear Guru Gita in terms of small rips, tears, deep oily thumb prints straddling her spine, and yellowish faded pages! Though we both appear to the casual observer to be on the decline, we share a profound relationship that keeps us refreshed and enthusiastic. In our communion great mysteries are revealed. It appears there's more to this existence than rips and wrinkles and rumpled, faded pages.

Thank you my dear friends, family, Guru brothers and sisters for your love, blessings, gifts and good wishes on this my 67th birthday. Our Baba would remind us on his birthday that while we celebrate this day, we should not forget that another year has gone by. We should make the most of our time left on this Earth! My birthday wish is that we all continue to do just that...

Remember how it was?

2009-11-30T16:29:00.001-05:00

Can you remember a time not so long ago, when it was so natural and easy to visit that place we proudly referred to as our spiritual home? We had access to it practically any time we wished. Visiting there gave us so much joy! It was a place so warm and welcoming. We anticipated going there in much the same way a child anticipates a visit to Disney World. It was a place above all other places that put a smile upon our face. It was a place we often referred to as being Holy. Some said it was Divine. Our sanctuary! It was only the fatigue of the world that was not allowed to enter there! Now things have changed!

Today it seems, this most wonderful place has shut its doors. Closed itself off to the rest of the world. Left us out in the cold to fend for ourselves. The bosom from where we once suckled has dried up. Now we’re left here to languish in a world that is incapable of nourishing us in the same way.

Looking back, we wonder what caused this apparently sudden closure? What lack of compassion or worse have brought about our current situation? What has happened to our Path? What’s really happening? There must be something we are not being told. And so the rumors begin to take root in our mind. Why can’t we at least visit the temple where we once freely deposited all our cares and woes? What’s happening? Where once we experienced joy and laughter, now there are doubts and animosity. Now there is anger! Will things ever be the same again?

The place I refer to is not located in upstate New York. It’s not located in India. This place is your own heart. The only true sanctuary you ever had. The only true sanctuary you will ever have. In truth, nothing has changed. I repeat, NOTHING HAS CHANGED!

But wait, I take that back. Something apparently must have changed. But if this is the case, then what is it? I’ll tell you plain and simple…you have changed! At least your attitude has changed, because it is your attitude that creates your world. When you harbor ill feelings and animosity toward others, especially toward those who are your true benefactors, then you yourself are shutting the door to your own heart. And when you harbor feelings of love and gratitude then you are once again opening that same door. Then you once again are free to come and go at your leisure. It’s really quite elementary. Do the math!

Remember what’s written above the Temple door:

“The Heart is the hub of all Sacred Places; Go there and roam.”

This is the teaching of Bhagwan Nityananda, of our Baba and of Gurumayi. This is the teaching of all the great Saints. These are the words you first see when you enter Bade Baba’s temple and these words are there for a reason. They are there for you to contemplate so you can come to the realization that the only real temple you’ll ever find in this world is right inside your own heart. By real temple of course, I mean one that cannot be taken away from you, and one that NO ONE can shut you out of. I’m reminded of a quote I once heard Gurumayi say that has stayed with me all these years:

“Oh parrot on a pole, who is keeping you there?”

Think about that for a moment. Who is keeping you from entering that sacred place? Could it be that you have actually been given a blessing? Perhaps a blessing in disguise? Is it possible that you have been given the keys to the temple? I mean, YOUR OWN PERSONAL SET OF KEYS TO THE TEMPLE…with your name engraved upon them!

These keys are to be found in your attitude - in the way you look at and approach various people and situations. The way you open and close doors in every aspect of your life.

Remember ~ good thoughts open the door; bad thoughts close the door. “The hub of all Sacred Places…” Think about this…

The only temple that cannot, and will not, ever be taken away is right within you at all times. Always was, always will be. No one can shut you out of that place except yourself. And you seem to have learned very well how to do that! Now perhaps, it’s time to unlearn it. Or, at least to begin cultivating the feelings you already know so well. It doesn’t really take that much effort to get back to that place. Only the desire to do so!

When you find yourself on the edge- JUMP!

2009-11-26T11:01:00.009-05:00

I’ve always had a problem with heights. Several years ago I attended a retreat designed to take participants beyond their self-imposed limitations. We were signing up to move past our comfort zones and into areas where we had to deal with some deep-seated fears. Each day of the retreat presented a new challenge, which wouldn’t be revealed until participants were confronted with the immediacy of the task at hand.

One such challenge was to climb up to a wooden platform built into a tree some 40+ feet off the ground. From that platform, each participant was to leap out and attempt to grab onto a bar suspended on ropes approximately 8-10 feet out, and maybe 6 feet up from the platform. Although a harness was secured to our bodies, anyone with a fear of heights would tremble at the thought of climbing up the rope ladder to stand on that wooden platform which might as well have been 1000 feet up in the air! Although I’m known to be a fairly composed individual, I was very nervous at the prospect of what lay ahead.

Each event was immediately preceded by a detailed orientation outlining the correct way to approach the challenge. (It was also preceded by the signing of a document clearing the retreat organizers from any liabilities, which only added to my anxiety.) This was followed by a request for any volunteers who wished to go first. Against my better judgment I found my hand shooting up into the air. I guess the standing around putting off the inevitable was more than I could take.

When chosen to go first I was both relieved and fearful. My mental process was interesting to watch. Each step I took brought me closer and closer to confronting this fear I carried within. I had a sense of what it might be like climbing the gallows stairs. And each step brought more fear and more relief; more fear and more relief until I reached the platform’s edge. I stood there for a moment looking down at the crowd; then up at the bar, which seemed beyond my reach. I was not going to stand there torturing myself so I sucked it up and leapt! The fingers of my left hand firmly grasped the bar, whereas my right hand needed a momentary adjustment before I could safely swing back and forth to the cheers below. I did it! I faced my fear and did it!

How sweet the feeling I had as I watched each ensuing participant climb the rope ladder to deal with the challenge ahead. Some like myself leapt without much hesitation; some after long and painful deliberation; while a few could only climb back down with heads hung low.

The take away for me was this: When the inevitable presents itself and you find yourself on the edge, JUMP! Living on the edge has advantages, but only if you’re willing to take the leap. Of course each of us has our own threshold, be it a visit to the dentist or participating in the X Games. Watching some of the X Game participants, especially the motorcycle events, puts my above-mentioned feat in perspective. That said, each of us approaches an edge that’s unique to our individual ideas as to what limits us.

Many of those who know me, know that I’ve had a life-long fascination with reptiles, especially snakes. While vacationing in California each year my kids and I usually find time to go out looking for them. Sometimes we come upon Rattlesnakes. It’s no secret that a Rattlesnake bite is usually fatal unless you get anti-venom in a timely manner. If you’re lucky enough to have your life saved after being bitten, there’s still an excruciatingly painful experience awaiting. Non-the-less, it’s been my habit to catch them with my bare hands. Coming face to face with a Rattlesnake is another form of living on the edge. You see, it’s nearly impossible for me to see a snake, any snake in the wild and leave it alone. Knowing very well the danger involved with handling Rattlers, my mind becomes acutely focused as I approach the snakes. You might say it’s a form of meditation for me. Crazy? I certainly can’t deny it!

For a long time I’ve tried to muster up the courage to put my thoughts down in this fashion. My hesitancy has to some extent been the fear of rejection and to some extent lack of discipline. Mostly it’s been the fear of not being true to myself and coming from a place of egoism. In this regard I’ve stood on the edge for a long, long time. When things came together for me a few weeks back I decided to go for it and take the leap. It’s been very satisfying, and the responses to some of my postings have warmed my heart with an abundance of encouragement. (To those who have been less than pleased with my postings, I’m sorry!) So, thank you to those who have responded with your own sweet words. They are most appreciated. Thanks also to my dear friends Mitchie D and Steven R. Your encouragement has helped push me over the edge. Considering my rebellious tendencies, let's hope you haven't help create a monster. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Do you really want to become a Rocket Scientist?

2009-11-25T13:24:00.006-05:00

This is in response to the grumbling I hear from time to time, and the carrying on of some people in response to my earlier post (Remember how it was?)

Here's Baba talking about being sent away from his Guru:

"...One morning I remained standing after the darsan of Sri Gurudev. He uttered 'hunh,' gave me a fruit and asked me to go. But I still remained standing. Gurudev spoke again: "Go...to your hut...at Yeola...Pursue knowledge...meditation there...Go." I went away feeling aggrieved and anxious, but entirely willing to obey the Guru's mandate. I attached greater importance to obedience to the Guru than ever before. Obedience to the Guru's command is the highest austerity; it is the most effective mantra repetition; it is true sadhana; it is, in fact, one's supreme duty. For a disciple there is nothing more rewarding than obedience to the Guru." ...

These words are very powerful. Notice that Baba says he "went away feeling aggrieved and anxious, but entirely willing to obey the Guru's mandate." Very real and honest! You can see how Baba as disciple, regards the Guru's command. There's no ambiguity about it. The Guru gives a command; the disciple does whatever he or she can to follow it. This is not rocket science, people- this is very clear and simple.

What's NOT always clear and simple is who your Guru is. That's a different issue. And that's a very, very personal thing. Nobody can tell you who your Guru is. That's something you and only you can really know for sure. It's the most personal of all personal decisions you can make.

After meeting Baba and receiving his blessing, I would proudly tell everyone that I had found my Guru! I was so proud because Baba was so unique, so authentic and so cool- cool in the sense that Ram Das had toured with him; and introduced him; and told everyone what an "incredibly high Being" Baba was! And Ram Das' word had a lot of influence in those days as far as being cool was concerned. Anyway, I went to Ganeshpuri shortly after Baba returned to India from his tour and then came back to do seva in the Ashram being set up in San Francisco. When I was with people I always proudly refered to Baba as my Guru, but in those moments alone- staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I would sometimes question the authenticy of this claim. If the Guru and my Self were really one and the same then I couldn't really say for sure that Baba was my Guru until I had that experience. It took a whole year until the conviction came. Then I knew without a doubt who my Guru was.

Once you know and accept that, then there's no need to cause yourself further anguish. If Gurumayi is not your Guru and you have problems with something she does or doesn't do, then stop trying to figure her out and move on! You'll be doing yourself a favor and doing a favor to others. It's a win-win kinda thing. As for those who have devotion for Baba but problems with Gurumayi, then I suggest you think about who put her in the Chair. If you want to figure something out, then figure that one out. If Gurumayi is not your Guru, then stop carrying on. One thing I know Baba never commanded anyone to do is harbor anger and bitterness. His wish for us is much higher than that.

A lot of what needs to be said is just plain old common sense. When we are able to detach ourselves from the emotions of things, common sense arises. This process is called contemplation. It all seems quite easy to me. I don't think we need to become Rocket Scientists to figure it out!

recollections and insights

2008-04-10T11:09:00.003-04:00